top of page

How to Improve Social Skills: 9 Best Conversation Starters to Improve Your Social Skills

Updated: Jun 3, 2023


Two women practising the best conversation starters

Intro - 9 Best Conversation Starters

You will never become comfortable in social situations if you don't experience them regularly, but for some of us, this can be hard.


Socializing can prove a challenge to many of us, but it only gets easier with practice, so to make that practice a little less daunting we have prepared the 9 best conversation starters that you can use to make a memorable impression and quickly improve your social skills.


This article is going to be short, sweet, and to the point. So, let's jump right into our 9 conversation starters and tips on how to improve your social skills.


#1, Be Positive

Woman and child have a positive conversation

Going into social interactions positively will 99% of the time leave your conversation partner feeling much better about their day. And if you can pair being positive with some of these other techniques you will not only learn how to improve your social skills, you will become a conversation master.


So, how do I look positive?


It's very hard to fake it with the correct body language and tone of voice because the human brain reads even the tiniest changes in your facial expressions within as little as 17 milliseconds so if you want to be positive, be positive. Make your internal conditions positive and your external ones will follow.


#2, Talk About Them

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and they just keep talking and talking and talking about themselves, about how great they are, what they had for breakfast, etc. It's boring and makes you feel unimportant. It's very difficult to like someone who just talks about themselves, so if you want to know a quick way of improving your social skills then this is one of the best conversation starters that you can use.


Ask them questions, especially ones that involve 'you'.


If you can do this while staying positive and really listening to them then you will become charismatic overnight. But don't just ask them questions and stop listening, if you can listen to them and ask questions containing 'you' then you will become charismatic overnight!


*one way to make listening easier is meditation as it increases your concentration and presence, check out our Free Resource Library for lots of meditation tips!


#3, Ask Them About Their Background

Following on from the last point, asking about them is good but what should you ask about?


Ask them about their background.


As talked about previously showing an interest in other people can significantly improve social skills and is a great way to start conversations. But also asking about their background is so effective because people love to be nostalgic and talk about their past, it distracts them from their problems and makes them feel happy and sometimes proud.


So, if you want people to like you then start a conversation with a question about their past, and if you can try to find links between theirs and yours.

.

#4, Offer To Help

Man helping someone by carrying boxes

If you see a stranger struggling with a task, offering them help could be a great way to start a conversation and improve your social skills. There are two great added benefits to offering help:


  1. The stranger will feel indebted and will help you in the future.

  2. Ask a follow-up question to start a conversation and seem interested in the stranger.


Asking the stranger about what they are doing or creating small talk can be a very powerful conversation starter, for example, ask them small talk questions such as "Are you new to the building?" or "I'm really hungry, have you got any recommendations for lunch?"


#5, Compliment Them

A simple compliment can go a long way, but don't repeatedly use this technique as your only one because the compliments can seem ingenuine and you may come across as desperate to please.


But to a stranger or a friend, compliments may prove to be one of the best ways to start a conversation. As it leads to pleasant conversations, and you will leave the stranger or friend feeling much better about themselves. And when they get home later that night they will think about what a wonderful person you are.


#6, Ask Open Ended Questions

Wooden question marks to symbolise the best conversation starters.

This one can be the hardest to master and may take a bit of practice, but once mastered is extremely effective at creating interesting and long conversations. But what is an 'open-ended' question?


An open-ended question is a question in which your conversation partner must talk about their answer for a good amount of time rather than just responding with a yes or no answer.


The reason this takes time is that figuring out the right format of the question is hard, especially in timed conditions. But here's an example of an open-ended question, "Wow, the weather this week looks good, what have you got planned?" instead of something like "Wow, the weather looks good, do you like the sun?" which requires a yes or no answer.


#7, Ask For Lunch Meal Recommendations

This is one of the best conversation starters for those who have just moved location or job.


Ask one of your colleagues for a lunch recommendation, or even better to go with them. This opens up even more opportunities for conversation as you can talk to them while at the restaurant, about favored food choices or it can even become an inside joke.


This best conversation starter could also lead to you meeting and making more friends as you begin to meet their friends in and around the restaurant.


#8, Discuss Common Interests

If you hold a particularly keen view on a certain topic such as a sport or hobby then keep a keen ear out for it while in public places.


Your knowledge in that subject could open up new opportunities for friendships and respect but don't boast about your knowledge as you may come across as arrogant or boastful, and those are definitely 2 of the worst social traits that you can have for building friendships.


#9, Comment On A Shared Activity

Concert involving lots of conversation.

This is targeted more at the best conversation starters for the workplace, but what do we mean by commenting on a shared activity?


If you see your colleague, for example, reading in the tube and you've also read that book then an amazing conversation starter would be, telling them you've read the book and asking for their opinion.


Another example could be seeing your colleague at a concert, always approach your colleague in those situations because they really don't happen very often. You can also start a shared passion between the two of you which could lead to a lifelong friendship, not only in the office but for life.


Conclusion

So, now you know how to start a conversation with our 9 best conversation starters. I hope these 9 tips can help you make friends for life and teach you how to improve your social skills.


We can give you all the tips and tricks that you want but if you don't put them into practice then improving your social skills and becoming a good conversationalist will always stay a dream.


So, overall the most important tip that we can give you is that being anxious and uncomfortable in social situations is only temporary, because every time you put yourself in an uncomfortable situation it gets easier. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the present for the future. Trust me, it's worth it.

Comments


Level Up Your Life With Our Free Resource Library

Sign up to gain access to our

free printable library!

Collection of self improvement posters

Our resource library is for members only, but no worries. It's completely FREE to join!

We've packed it full of helpful challenges, planners, and motivation to help you reach your goals.

bottom of page